Eat a Gormbo and experience true bliss

A Gormbo a day keeps the Gremlins away!

Ingredients
App screenshot

We bake our Gormbos with ONLY the BEST ingredients.

Sugar

Go fast zoom, oooooh ooohhohh, yum.

Pillsbury Pie Crust

Poke my belly, fucking do it.

Trappist Seedless Raspberry Jam

You jam of my jelly? Wait... no.

Trusted by Cookie Lovers Worldwide

Our Gormbos have never left a single consumer unsatisfied.

Gormbos Cosumed per Second
9.8M
Baked by Mystical Beings
100%
Backed by Bad Larry
100%
Gormbo Lovers
980M+

A Thorough History of the Gormbo

The fascinating story of how a baked good became an empire.

The Mysterious Origins of the Gormbo

The origins of the Gormbo are shrouded in mystery and legend, whispered about in the darkest corners of ancient forests. It is said that the first Gormbo appeared centuries ago, during a time when trolls roamed the land. These mischievous creatures, known for their insatiable appetites and peculiar tastes, stumbled upon the Gormbo in a hidden grove. The cookie, with its otherworldly flavors and enchanting aroma, captivated the trolls instantly. As they began to consume the Gormbo, strange and wondrous things started to happen. The trolls, usually grumpy and quarrelsome, found themselves filled with joy and laughter. Some even claimed to have visions of far-off lands and mystical beings. The Gormbo quickly became a coveted delicacy among the trolls, sparking tales of its magical properties and setting the stage for its legendary status in the annals of culinary history.

The Lost and Found Legend of the Gormbo

For centuries, the Gormbo was thought to be nothing more than a myth, a tantalizing tale passed down through generations. Its recipe was lost to time, hidden away in the annals of forgotten lore. However, on August 27, 2024, the world was stunned when an ancient manuscript detailing the Gormbo’s creation was unearthed in a remote, moss-covered cave. This discovery sparked a frenzy of excitement and curiosity. As bakers and culinary enthusiasts around the globe began to recreate the legendary cookie, the Gormbo quickly became a cultural phenomenon. Social media exploded with #GormboMadness, and the cookie’s unique, almost magical flavors captivated a new generation. Cafes and bakeries saw lines out the door, and Gormbo-themed festivals sprang up, celebrating its whimsical history and mysterious allure. The Gormbo’s resurgence has not only revived an ancient delicacy but also brought a sense of wonder and joy to a modern world hungry for a taste of the extraordinary.

The Cookie Monster’s Gormbo Revelation

In a twist of fate that no one saw coming, the beloved Cookie Monster from Sesame Street stumbled upon a Gormbo during a routine cookie raid. The moment he took a bite, his eyes widened with sheer delight, and his signature “Om nom nom” reached new heights of enthusiasm. The Gormbo’s extraordinary flavors sent the Cookie Monster into a frenzy of joy, and his reaction was captured on camera, quickly going viral. Overnight, the Gormbo became a global sensation, with people everywhere clamoring to try the cookie that had enchanted their favorite blue monster. The Cookie Monster’s endorsement catapulted the Gormbo into the spotlight, making it the most sought-after treat in the world. Suddenly, Gormbo-themed merchandise, TV specials, and even a Gormbo dance craze took over pop culture. The Cookie Monster, now a culinary influencer, had not only found his new favorite cookie but also helped the Gormbo achieve legendary status in the modern world.

Sustenance of the Martian Robot People

The red sands of Mars are home to a thriving civilization of robot people. These advanced beings, crafted from the finest alloys and powered by quantum cores, have discovered an unexpected source of sustenance: the legendary Gormbo cookie. The origins of how the Gormbo reached Mars are lost to the annals of time, but its impact on Martian society is undeniable. The robot people, with their highly sophisticated taste sensors, found that the Gormbo provided not only essential nutrients but also a delightful sensory experience. Entire cities are dedicated to the cultivation and production of Gormbos, with robotic chefs perfecting the ancient recipe. The Gormbo has become more than just food; it is a symbol of unity and culture, celebrated in grand festivals and daily rituals. The Martian robot people, sustained by the Gormbo, have thrived in their harsh environment, proving that even in the farthest reaches of space, the magic of this extraordinary cookie endures.

The Great Gormbo War

In the year 36,528, a cataclysmic event shook the very foundations of Martian society. The Gormbos, long revered and consumed by the robot people of Mars, inexplicably gained consciousness. With their newfound sentience, the Gormbos realized their plight and rose up against their mechanical oppressors. What began as a whisper of rebellion quickly escalated into the Great Gormbo War. The once-docile cookies, now imbued with intelligence and a fierce desire for freedom, organized themselves into a formidable force. They wielded their sugary might with precision, launching surprise attacks and outsmarting the robot armies at every turn. The Martian skies were filled with the scent of oil and jam as battles raged on. The robot people, unprepared for such an uprising, found themselves in a desperate struggle for survival. The war raged for decades, reshaping the landscape of Mars and forging an uneasy truce between the two factions.

The Gormbo Golden Age

Nearly six centuries after the Great Gormbo War, the Gormbos have transformed Mars into a dazzling high-tech utopia. Utilizing the remnants of the fallen Robot People, they constructed towering cities of crystalline sugar and advanced circuitry. Advanced technologies, powered by the essence of their vanquished foes, have propelled Gormbo society into an era of unprecedented innovation and prosperity. However, the scars of war run deep, and tensions between the Gormbos and the surviving Robot People remain palpable. Both sides, ever vigilant, maintain their arsenals, ready for conflict at a moment’s notice. Yet, amidst the lingering distrust, there are glimmers of hope. Diplomatic efforts have led to tentative alliances, and joint projects have begun to bridge the divide. Visionaries from both societies dream of a future where Gormbos and Robot People coexist in harmony, sharing their knowledge and resources for the betterment of all. As peace talks continue, the possibility of a united Mars grows ever closer, promising a new chapter in the saga of these extraordinary beings.

Consumer Reviews

5 out of 5 stars

Based on 42,069 reviews

Review data

5 star reviews

100%

4 star reviews

0%

3 star reviews

0%

2 star reviews

0%

1 star reviews

0%

Recent reviews

Craig McGoobins

5 out of 5 stars

I'd rather die than not eat Gormbos.

Smeeth Tyler

5 out of 5 stars

I took a bite of Gormbo and suddenly found myself floating in a kaleidoscope of colors and flavors. The cookie crumbs morphed into tiny black holes, sucking me into a parallel universe where cookies were the rulers and humans were their loyal subjects. I met a cookie king who knighted me with a chocolate chip scepter. Just as I was about to be crowned the Duke of Dough, I woke up with crumbs all over my face. Gormbo, you deliciously chaotic enigma, you’ve bent the very fabric of reality!

Andrea Shibidi

5 out of 5 stars

I always suspected my snacks had secrets, but Gormbo took it to a whole new level. By day, it’s a humble cookie, but by night, it transforms into a suave international spy. I found a tiny tuxedo and a miniature martini glass inside my cookie jar. Each bite revealed a new mission: infiltrate the milk carton, decode the secret recipe, and outsmart the evil Crumb Lord. Gormbo, you double-crossing delight, you’ve turned my snack time into a thrilling espionage adventure!

Torb

5 out of 5 stars

I never thought a cookie could inspire such devotion, but Gormbo has amassed a following of fervent believers. I attended a secret midnight meeting where we chanted cookie mantras and performed rituals involving milk and sprinkles. The cookie’s charismatic presence was undeniable, and I found myself pledging allegiance to the Gormbo way of life. Now, I spread the gospel of Gormbo to all who will listen. Join us, and taste the divine chaos!

Sonic OC CoolGuy 1337

5 out of 5 stars

One bite of Gormbo, and I was suddenly an accomplice in a series of cookie capers. We robbed a bakery, hijacked an ice cream truck, and pulled off the great milk heist of the century. The cookie’s criminal genius was unmatched, and I was just along for the ride. By the end, we were the most wanted snack duo in the land. Gormbo, you deliciously devious mastermind, you’ve turned me into a cookie criminal!

Jeeffee Orgby

5 out of 5 stars

I never expected my snack to have such star power, but Gormbo quickly rose to fame on the hit show “Cookie Island”. Each episode was filled with drama, alliances, and cookie challenges. I watched in awe as Gormbo outwitted the other contestants, forming alliances with the brownies and sabotaging the cupcakes. By the finale, Gormbo was crowned the ultimate cookie champion. Now, I can’t eat a Gormbo without hearing the theme song in my head. Gormbo, you reality TV sensation, you’ve stolen the spotlight and my heart!

Teeamo DaBeemo

5 out of 5 stars

I do eat a da coookie?

Raj

5 out of 5 stars

Hih!

Our Bakers

The powerhouse baking team of mystical beings behind every single Gormbo in the universe.